Into the Woods and through the fear...

Apr 24

My journey as a theatre artist has been incredibly circular. Almost dizzyingly so. Certain shows and characters seem to meet me when I can learn the most from them. George Gibbs in Our Town/Nuestro Pueblo and his lessons on loss and grief gave me perspective through a difficult diagnosis in my family. John Nevins in Trouble in Mind assured my authority and perspective as a Black actor. Moritz in Spring Awakening was an exploration of love, lust, and desire. These are just a few of the roles and productions that have not only pushed me as a performer but taught me valuable lessons as I mature. I often ask myself, “What is there for me to discover? What can I take from this experience?” I am currently playing Jack in Into the Woods at Dallas Theater Center and this experience has been both a full circle moment that I’ve wished for and an incredibly sobering time. I wanted to take the time to gather my thoughts and document my experience at this point in my career.

“Into the woods and through the fear you have to take the journey.”

I have always loved Into the Woods. I knew how loved and celebrated it was but I discovered it for myself when it was announced as our annual musical during my junior year of high school. I remember carefully studying Stephen Sondheim’s score and James Lapine’s book in preparation for the auditions. “Giants in the Sky” became an anthem for me. Its message was so clear and one that I needed to hear as a sixteen-year-old dreamer. There is abundance, opportunity, and prosperity just beyond what you can see; just beyond your current environment, beliefs, and situations. It was in every tenor’s book, but that song really spoke to me. It still does. I was cast as Jack with my usual youthful optimism and excitement. Now, I can be honest and say that I wasn’t the strongest student academically. I was plenty ambitious and talented, but I struggled to find the same focus and interest in my core subjects as I had found in the fine arts wing. I felt safe and supported there. There was room for error and discovery in rehearsal that wasn’t granted in other subjects. During our rehearsals, I failed a class and was ineligible to perform in the musical. Zach, then, was the personification of deflated shame, embarrassment, and perceived failure.

“Sometimes the things you most wish for are not to be touched.”

I can freely share this bump in the road now because I recognize that it was a seed that grew into the season of harvest that I’m currently in. It has all led me here. (My senior year was also a great year of redemption and a confidence boost - lead in the musical, All-State Mixed Choir, college acceptance - “But that’s another story. Nevermind. Anyway.”)

In August of 2021, I had the opportunity to audition for DTC’s production of Tiny Beautiful Things. (Which is now a Hulu Original Series that my aunt, Luenell was in. Another dizzying full-circle moment.) The audition for that one production turned into the opportunity to audition for Dallas Theater Center’s Diane and Hal Brierley Resident Acting Company (BRAC). Things were starting to reopen and I thought it was a good opportunity to spread my wings and move to New York. My thinking was either I’d book Tiny Beautiful Things, come home for that contract, and head back up to the city or I’d get an offer to join the company and pivot my ambitions to Dallas. I was in New York for fourteen days and returned home to Fort Worth as a new full-time company member.

“Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor and good fortune, like bad, can befall when least expected.”

The past two seasons have been filled with countless moments of growth and reflection not only in my profession as an actor but personally as an artistic citizen and community member. Each interaction and experience that I have had working with each of my cohorts has sharpened me for the better. I remember posing a question to the existing company about my feelings about imposter syndrome during my panel interview. Ms. Liz Mikel assured me and told me “Your gifts will make room for you.” I find myself returning to those words in this time of confusion. My position has also illuminated me to the complications, challenges, and frustrations of producing theatre at this scale.

“Of course, what really matters is the blame. Somebody to blame.”

As many of you have heard, Dallas Theater Center just laid off 37 staff members, including the entire acting company. The previously full-time acting company will now return to the pre-pandemic part-time model on a show-by-show basis. I’m not necessarily interested in publicly joining any discourse of critiques as they do not have many tangible positive benefits for those soon facing termination and loss of work if any at all. My intention is to speak life and gratitude to the work being invested in Into the Woods. I am thankful for his show at this time. Someone asked a question in our post-show talkback that inspired this blog post. “With everything going on at DTC, what lessons from this show will you take into your next adventure?” After a few moments of silence, I thanked them for the question and did my best to answer. I share that answer here.

“The chances look small. The choices look grim. But everything you learn there will help when you return there.”

I may be biased, as this show feeds my inner child and closes a loop of unfinished business, but I could not think of a more appropriate show to accompany this time of uncertainty. When you feel you’ve accomplished your wish and arrived at your happily ever after, a giant of truth destroys your ideal land of comfort. Yet we must press forward. There are moments in this show that echo my current sentiments. Playing Jack has allowed me to explore the loss of innocence and the weight of responsibility as we grow up. Every night we share a story of a community grappling with loss, fear, and anxiety. I too have trepidation but I believe that things do not happen to me, they happen for me. I ask myself again, “What is there for me to discover? What can I take from this experience?” Jack gives me hope and optimism.

“Wishes come true, not free.”

To those who have reached out with concern, know that I really appreciate being thought of. I appreciate everyone who has supported me on my journey and I do not take your love for granted. All change worth having is uncomfortable and I recognize that I am in a better position than a lot of my colleagues who have families and have relocated for their employment. I recognize this temporary setback as an opportunity to reenter the audition market and I look forward to expanding my creativity to avenues outside of the theatre. I’m still engaged with DTC as a member of BRAC and have a really exciting season scheduled. I now look forward to opportunities to connect and collaborate with the entire creative community in North Texas and beyond.

“And you know things now that you never knew before not ‘til the sky.”

DFW Center Stage Review by Doug Sturdivant

Through all of the challenges and stressors, our production staff, crew, dressers, stage management team, musicians, and cast are producing amazing work. This may be the role that I am most proud of thus far. Audiences have been so complimentary and the response has been incredibly warm. I invite you to take the journey with us as we close this book on April 30th. We have eight shows in our final week and it is Into the Woods like you’ve never seen it before. Tickets can be found here or by calling our box office at ‭(214) 522-8499‬.

Zachary J. Willis https://www.zacharyjwillis.com